Bubba Jones Fired over Sex Scandal!

It was announced today by BNN THE BIZARGRASS NEWS NETWORK (the parent company of "The Bizargrass News"
that Chief Editor William Jefferson "Bubba" Jones was given his "walking papers" because of a sex scandal
involving Bubba and the Intern Doughnut and Coffee girl, Veronica Stravinski.
It seems they were caught by Elmer Johnson, president of The Bizargrass News Network, with their pants down in the break room.
When Bubba was asked by his superior, Mr. Johnson, "Bubba what is your problem?"
Bubba replied, "It just depends on what is is"

"I did not eat doughnuts with that woman!"

An interim editor to date has not been named.
Come back to the News for later developments.


Uncensored Audio Tape Transcript...

Bubba: "Eat a doughtnut with me Veronica"
Veronica: "I don't want a doughnut"
Bubba: Come on, eat one of my doughnuts"
Veronica: " I told you, I don't want a doughnut"
Bubba: " How bout a cup of coffee?"
Veronica: "I don't want a cup of coffee!"
Bubba: "Come on just one doughtnut, please?"
Veronica: "Okay, just one"

Listen to Real Audio conversation between Bubba and Veronica
by clicking the icon below...

After you listen use your browser's back button to return to this page.

also coming soon our new field reporter, Ricardo Crisco

Veronica Stravinsky to Testify before
Parking Lot Picker's Sub-Commitee!

Monday, February 1st. 1999 / The Bizargrass News
Richardo Crisco, Field Reporter (photo not available)



The rainy streets of Hot Coffee, Mississippi today reflected the somber mood of the patrons at Mabel's Breakfast Nook.
The Parking Lot Picker's Union is meeting today to determine the fate of Bubba Jones, former editor of The Bizargrass News.
Union President, Grover Pickett takes a sip of hot coffee and leans back in his chair and through a mouthful of doughtnut says
"Vern Stravinski is gonna be a little late, she is working the 11-7 shift over at the Flatpick plant."

Grover licks the doughtnut glaze off his fingers and thumb.(this reporter notices he is still wearing his herco thumb pick)
"I been gettin' a lotta nasty e-mail since they fired Old Bubba!"
"Way I heard it, all Bubba was doin' was eatin' doughnuts with the old gal, says Grover as he lights up another lucky.

Vernon Wilson, one of the best flat top pickers in the county despite losing two fingers in a sawmill accident back in '69,
gathers his thoughts for a moment and then asks Grover,"What  do ya' think would happen if ya' played the gitar
 and left that doughnut glaze on ya' fangers?" Think it would hurt the strangs?"

Before Grover Pickett could reply all attention turns to the parking lot as a baby blue pinto comes to a noisy stop.
Grover looks over at me and says, "That's Miss Stravinsky now Ricardo, I'm afraid you'll have to leave,
this is a closed Deposition. As I grab my coat and head toward the door, over my shoulder
 I hear Grover Pickett in a loud voice say, Hey Mabel, how 'bout another doughnut!






Dan Parker of Warwick, RI is the winner of this month's Guitar Pick Give-Away.
Dan is shown here trying out his new pick at the Bob Dole Bluegrass Festival.
"This is an ergonomically feasible plectrum!" says Dan.
or in plain english, "I like the way this pick feels!"
click here for details...

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last update 01.05.99

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